Holiday Spirit

The last few weeks I have made a concerted effort to be full of Holiday cheer.

I remember several years ago feeling "the magic" or "the Holiday Spirit" so strongly that I knew that Christmas changed the heart of people for a few simple weeks a year to truly improve mankind.

Since that Christmas, I've succumb to the "rat race"... Present, cards, gifts, commerce, etc. The Holiday's has been a time to fight back and try not to go crazy worrying about getting "enough" or "good enough" presents for the myriad of people who I'm supposed to give gifts to.

This year things are more complicated than ever. I now actually have a child of my own who I don't want to feel that she does without. The pocketbook isn't as loose because Lisa isn't working any more, and my workload has only increased exponentially in the past 6 months.

Oddly enough, it was a combination of my daughter's innocents, and commercialism that have driven me to my current euphoria.

December 1st we went tree shopping, on December 2nd we put the lights on the tree and decorated the house. That night as we tried to put our little lightning bolt to bed, was walked her through the house... Lights off, intending to show her "See, Sarah, the house is saying 'ni-night' to you." I met with the all to common realization that Little Sarah was teaching me that night. She put her head against my chest, but she didn't sleep. She stared in wonder at the hundreds of tiny lights that graced our plant shelves, mantel, and tree. she was caught up in the nutcracker, and Christmas dolls that adorn our house. She felt the wonder that I had lost.

I resolved that night to lay aside the things that get in the way of the magic. Lisa and Sarah have been my focus. We have made a wreath as a family, shopped together, laughed together, watched Christmas movies, played games, sang carols. Every night I find myself rushing home excited to see what we've got planned for tonight.

I'm finding it more fun to hold hands with Lisa, to stand outside and look at our house and its "light bill suicide". How can you want to do anything than spread that magic?