Hindsite

I received an e-mail from a friend from my old employer. The e-mail was from his personal e-mail address and said "I have some questions for you, could you call me" He then proceeded to give me his Cell phone, not his office number.

Well, I've been just far enough down the road to have an idea why.

After an exchange of messages, we connected and he immediately began asking me about the circumstances surrounding my separation from that employer. He prefaced the question with "I think I'm going to get fired." My only response was simple

"There are much bigger tragedies."

As we talked, I was brought back to the emotions of insecurity, embarrassment, anger, frustration, etc. that I experienced as I went through a vastly similar era of employment with the same employer. There are a few things I counseled him that I think should be learned from (as it took time to learn them from myself).

1. GET HAPPY. My friend isn't happy when he is unfairly judged, and neither was I, so when I said "Get out and Get happy." It made sense.

2. DON'T BE BITTER. In most bad employment situations the vast majority of employees are not the issue, it is a select few that cause the problem. Bitterness never helped anyone, so avoid it all... But, as you have to go through the emotion of bitterness and anger, at least pin point those that truly caused the feeling and release all your friends from the blame that they do not deserve... Besides, prior employers are one of your biggest references. It doesn't do to have them all hate you back. That bitterness also effects your performance, so get out of the bitterness as quickly as you can.

3. JUDGE SITUATIONS BASED ON THE FACTS. "Know thy enemy" is wise council, guessing what is happening and reacting to the guess isn't a good way to make wise decisions. Find out what is really happening and why, then you can make the best decision.

4. INSECURITY IS NORMAL AND IT MAKES YOU ACT STUPID. My friend was obviously insecure as he bragged up his credentials to me... Funny, I remember doing the same thing. I hope he can set aside the insecure feelings and get a grip before he alienates opportunities with FALSE confidence.

Just talking about the experience really got to me, emotions and opinions I thought I had buried came back. That's part of life too.

Leaving that employer has been a real challenge. I have faced new challenges moving back to Utah... I knew I would and yet I don't enjoy them any knowing they were coming. I have had to deal with defeat and learn that everyone who got fired from a job isn't a failure or a bad employee, at least I don't THINK that I'm a bad employee and apparently several potential employers agreed.

The kick in the pants that was the end of my first job out of college was probably exactly the kick in the pants I needed to not settle for mediocrity.

Christ said "...All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for they good." (D&C 122:7) Well, I'm not as judgemental, and I am growing again. I guess his promise is kept, whether I appreciate it or not.

I'm grateful that at least one being can see the beginning from the end.